"I am not beautiful to the shallow observing eye that wanders over my outer shell with disdain, for those who take a closer look can easily see that my beauty shines from deep within. I am strong, stronger than ten whole men bound together not in muscle strength but in inner strength, for I can fight, I can endure and I can accept defeat when I lose a battle. I am the definition of Superwoman; Intelligent, sophisticated, sensual, a desirable woman for those who dare to look closely and realize just how extraordinary I am. I am perfection in any and every single way for I am not afraid to be simply, uniquely, irrevocably me." - Melanie B.
Acceptance:
Everyone wishes to be accepted, most people will do anything to be liked by their peers. But not me; growing up I was never really accepted I was constantly being put down by my peers and my older siblings. After a lot of times of being upset and sobbing over things that others made me feel made me build walls and barrios. Most of all not allowing anyone to see the real me. There came many consequences with building walls I tried to show people that I was tough and hard core. This made many people not want to talk to me or get to know me. I would show people that I didn’t care. There were some positive things with building walls; not many things got me upset, I got over things fast, and I kept things to myself that helped me keep away from some drama.
Family:
“Because they see us as low and even in our culture.” - Julio Cammarota
We all remember those days when our family would get together and all our primos, primas, tias, tios will all sit around and eat a whole lot of food and talk about everything and everyone. Looking back at those times make me want to be little again and not have to worry about what my family thinks because I am one of the oldest girls I am being looked up to by my younger family members. Having older siblings myself made me feel more pressure because neither of them went to college, both of my older sisters got pregnant, and it took them more than 4 years to graduate high school. My sister had dreams to go to Cal-Poly and become an Architect since my sister got pregnant at a young age made my family wonder if that would happen to me. Both of my older sisters didn’t go far in high education and my family members joke on how much more time I have to get pregnant. Having sisters that got pregnant made a lot of pressure for me because I then felt like I had to finish high school without getting pregnant and if I did anything wrong I would be looked down to by my family.
“Miga ce te va a pasar el tren.” –Tios
Family means a lot to me. It’s a very huge part in my life and not receiving their acceptance made my stomach turn upside down. Feeling pressure made me feel like I wasn’t being supported by them because I felt like they expected nothing from me. All I ever wanted was their support and encouragement because I felt like I needed to do better and they just expected the worst out of me. Since my older sister got pregnant my uncles expect me to get pregnant real soon or get married and not finish my education.
Mothers Role:
I was raised by a single mother who showed me that independence is a way to show power. The perfect family always involves a mom and a dad but in my point of view the perfect family is a stable family that respects and shows love for each other. I had friends that talked about their dad and I would always say I have a mom and she is my dad too, they will all look at me with confusion but I was always proud to say that we got where we are because of all of the sacrifices she has made to make a strong household. At a point my mom had 3 jobs and spent most of her day working to be able to provide for sisters and brothers. We didn’t really understand why my mom was always working at that point and we would complain that we wanted to spend more time with her and we would pick fights with her because we felt as if she didn’t love us because she was never home. We then realized that she had to keep all 3 of her jobs to be able to give us a big home where we can all have our own space. When she quit her third job we realized that we had to cut back in having a big home and had to move to a smaller apartment that my mom could afford. Seeing my mom struggle motivated me to work hard in high school so I can graduate and be able to go for further education.
My Independence:
“Often a High School degree for a Latina youth means that she has achieved more than any other women in the family. This achievement offers a Latina more control over her life.” –Julio Cammarota 26
Finishing High school and enrolling in College makes me feel proud of myself because I am trying to make my life better. My last two years in high school I tried to do my best on everything I did so that I attend college later in the future. My mom struggles and my sisters’ struggles make me want to have a good career so that I won’t have to deal with the things they did, like having to depend on a guy to provide for them since they have to take care of kids. I want to make someone out of my life because I know I have the potential to be anything I set my mind to be. I want to make a difference or an impact in this world. I want to make this world a better place where everyone feels accepted and safe.
I always knew that I was going to college without worrying that anything will set me back. Being someone in life is my life time goal, I want to achieve a lot in life since none of my family members have. I want to be able to help my family when they are in need and I also want to be able to provide a better life for my own family when I get older. I don’t want to go through all the struggles I see my mom and sisters go through that’s why getting a college degree will allow me to have a good paying job that will be a good financial progress.
“Men will always delight in a woman whose voice is lined with velvet. ~Brendan Francis”
Growing up with a single mother made me realize that I can do anything on my own and being able to provide for a big family is a burden but it is still accomplishable. Since I was seven I had to feel a little of independence, I had to do my own laundry and clean thing on my own. Later on it turned into more independence I had to pay for my own phone bill and pay for my own things. I had an allowance and I had to be able to manage my money in a way that I will be able to find end met. On top of having to pay for my own things my family support was never their and that made me feel like I will always have to rely on my own for things.
Making it this far in life and almost completing my first quarter in college makes me really proud because I am one step ahead to success. I know that I am in this on my own but being inspired to do more in life has made me who I am. My goals to do something big inspires me to do whatever I can to be able to achieve what I want. Life is hard but only you can make it better.
Natalie,
ReplyDeleteYour essay offers many different entry points that will help you eventually develop a stronger, more focused personal statement. I think the heart of your essay revolves around your struggle of trying to find confidence in yourself while at the same time protecting yourself from other's negative expectations or opinions. It seems to me that your true struggle is building yourself up, loving yourself, believing in yourself even when those closest to you make it hard for you to do so.
This internal struggle of yours is complicated by the difficulty of being raised in a single-parent household where financial stability is not a reality. You make a good connection between your mother being gone and you having to learn how to resist the teasing and criticism that siblings sometimes indulge in when a parent is not in sight.
I would like you to develop the core of this internal struggle for your future essay. Specifically, I want to know what you have done to maintain a sense of dignity and believe in yourself even when it seems that others do not.
Questions for revision:
1) Has the pressure to fail, imposed on you by family members who expect the worst, in some way motivated you to be different? What made you decide you would use this pressure as an inspiration rather than allow it to defeat you?
2) Who do you have in your life who has shown you a different path than the one your sister chose, or the one everyone assumes you will choose? Is there a particular person you know personally or perhaps a more famous individual that you look towards as a guide for success?
3) How does your mother respond to other people's criticism of you? How does she react or does she? Does she say anything to you to counter their negative expectations?
4) If your mother doesn't actively say something to you, is it her actions that tell you she wants more for you? Does her working long days and sacrificing tell you that she believes in you and your potential?
5) What steps have you taken to succeed in college so far and why?
6) What kind of work do you imagine yourself doing? What does your vision of the future look like to you?